Some more updates I guess

What, you got a better title for this journal? xD
Heeeey guyssss it's Fario.

So uh before I get to the boring parts of my life here's a bunch of distractions for you to distract yourself with

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There's this new contest I'm thinking about joining. Maybe you guys should consider it...
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I haven't drawn digitally these days, so maybe this will be a refresher

Also for my fellow Fantage animators who somehow missed the most intriguing part of my last journal.
the fantage youtubers crack masterpostplease comment if these links get taken down
windows
after effects cs6
sony vegas pro 14
sony vegas pro 13 / alt
sony vegas pro 12
sony vegas pro 11 (thanks BananaStarx)
sony vegas pro 8 (thanks Fario-P)
camtasia studio 9 
collected by everyone's new hero rosewaterr give em a nice round of applause
calling all present + future fantage animators...

also holy shit every time i re-listen to the d/p/pt soundtrack it gets better and better.

i will lose my shit if there's no remakes in this generation

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So yeahhh sorry for not being able to get on the computer for a while. My sister was here and she usually dislikes it when I use the computer during her time in the house since the computer is in the same room where she stays. I really want to move the computer to my room so my sis doesn't have to be all whiny about it, but for some reason she and my brother thinks that's a dumbass idea. Sure I'm addicted to it, but at least it stops me from going all emo in front of them-- they really hate it when I get all mopey in front of them. And again, at least she doesn't have to cringe at my lonely self watching an electronic screen all day. I dunno, maybe I have some really stupid logic.
She's going to come back next month as that's when her college year ends until September or August or something. College sure sounds great when she says things, but then again I saw the same thing with her high school years and so far my high school life is probably the worst thing that I ever had to experience. Speaking of college, ever since my SAT, my dad has been giving me hell. All he will ever speak to me is "Name 5 colleges you will go to" or a variant of that. It's driving me insane and I refuse to speak to him for the rest of the day if I hear those annoying words of his mouth, because he repeats these words (or again, a variant) at least 5 times a day.
He stopped saying that after I told my mom and sister to kill me after hearing the phrase for the 6th time yesterday, but I'm pretty sure it's temporary  

Anyway, I'm still on my Spring Break ^_^. I go back to school on Wednesday. It's probably like that cuz there's Easter and Passover going on, idk honestly.
I didn't do much on my break like always, but it does feel a lot more satisfying compared to my previous breaks during high school. Don't know why, it's probably cuz I got to go to Barnes and Noble. Seriously, I think that place is becoming one of my favorite shops. Anyway, my sister and I went there the other day. I wanted to get Sailor Moon manga, but of course my sister refused xD. We eventually ended up finding some official Sailor Moon charms from Bandai though  . But sadly she couldn't even let me get any of them grrrr (they weren't even that expensive, they were less than $10 USD each...).
I was still satisfied though. At the end of our book journey, my sister got the rest of the Nicholas Flamel books she didn't have (which completed our collection of the series ), got me a Barnes and Noble edition of the original Winnie the Pooh tales, and a 2015 edition box set containing all three seasons of Avatar: The Last Airbender. We've been searching for the Avatar series for quite some time, so we were surprised to see it at Barnes and Noble in one box with a good price!!
They also had a similar box set like that, except it contained all four seasons of The Legend of Korra instead, but we've never really watched Korra and I've heard extremely mixed reviews about it. I heard amazing things mainly, but The Legend of Korra suffered within Avatar's fandom, just like how Chrono Cross does with us Chrono fans (though I think the game was just as good as Chrono Trigger) Also, I heard Nick decided to be a dick with Korra and made it hard to keep up for fans, so I feel a bit bad for the series. I'm pretty sure it must be good.

Anyway, the trip outside that day was wonderful. The weather was great and we ended up going to a Vietnamese place to eat . We couldn't exactly finish all of our food, but it was a great time overall and it reminded me of the good old days when I was blissfully ignorant and played all day at this playground I've known since my early years. You know, before I was all emo and stuff  

Man, I reminisce about "the good old days" a lot like an old person... I guess this music would be great every time I do that.

sorry man, but what's wrong with d/p/pt _{do u wanna fight me huh huhhuhuh wannafitemeinsmash and before u ask im a gen 2 / johto person so uh yeah}

Yeah, I've been feeling a bit down these days.
I don't know what I'll do after high school. Or after college if I even get accepted-- I mean, my high school grades have been mediocre compared to my middle school grades and I have refused to join any clubs. I don't know why people have always hated me during my elementary and middle school years. Could be cuz I'm annoying, but they could have at least given me a chance like a couple of my good friends have. Somehow lol.
I've had people say things that were something like "you're not a good person, you know that", including from my own family. I know I'm not a good person and will never be. I'm too greedy, selfish, and ignorant and all those other negative things. I don't think I have a single redeeming trait other than being creative and being artistically talented. I don't think those will even help me in my life other than for stress relief and my own enjoyment along with anime/manga/cartoons/comics and video games.
This sounds like a thing a person would say to get attention, but this is how I honestly think of myself. I have noted that I was feeling down earlier and I did appreciate the suggestions I got. But I feel like nothing will ever satisfy me anymore. I can't seem to stop wanting to spend money on things that my family doesn't like. Other than maybe Pokémon remakes and a few others, I've lost hope in most possible remakes/reboots/nostalgia-revivals/etc. of things and the overall ideas that Hollywood (or something like that) has (I say most cuz even though I've never watched the original show, the new Samurai Jack season is actually pretty good, I've been keeping up with it with my brother ).
I've even nearly lost the hope for other companies (e.g. Nintendo, Fantage, etc.) to change from the things that have heavily impacted them in the worst way possible (e.g. Nintendo completely abandoning loved fandoms that could have another chance, Fantage making some awful events and changes to the game overall, etc.).

It feels like ever since high school (or perhaps, since 5th grade) started, I have pretty much changed for the worse. And I probably won't ever change. There's times where I don't even know why I exist if I'm such a despicable and boring person. ...Is this an existential crisis or something?
sorry for the depressing journal guys, but i really needed to get some of these things off of my chest.

_{...sorry if the gif ruined it for u guys, but at least it cheered me up remembering old spongebob xP
...also i dont own this gif, of course.}

i really need help man.